another cup of tea

I get to….
fix myself hot tea
hold a steaming mug in my hands
pull a wool shawl around my shoulders
shift my weight in my cozy chair
sip and gaze out my window
unbroken by bullets

I get to
step into the shower
turn on the water
adjust the temperature
let hot water lavish my body
as I lather with lavender

I get to
squeeze toothpaste
brush and floss my teeth
rinse my mouth with cool, refreshing water

I get to
make my bed, smooth flannel sheets, fluff my pillows
choose my clothes, change my socks, put on shoes
decide on earrings

I get to
spritz my paints
dip my brush into yellow, into blue
paint a little heart, then another, and another

I get to
write morning pages
jot a haiku

I get to
turn the page

I get to
turn on the news
I get to
turn off the news

I get to
make a list
rearrange my list, cross things off, add more, scribble little stars and notes

I get to
pay my bills, pay my taxes, order needs, order wants, order gifts

I get to
unwrap packages, fold up boxes, take out the trash

I get to
pull thyme from my cabinet
chop onion, garlic, celery, carrot

I get to
hum a carefree tune, stir the soup, ladle into bowls
wipe my lips with a clean napkin

I get to
misplace my keys
I get to
find them again

I get to
walk out my door,
lock it securely behind me
scatter seed on the ground
be distracted by three ravens
watch them crow and call and dance and soar

I get to
notice tiny purple crocuses popping up shyly from brown earth
listen to birdsong, to finches, to robins

I get to
walk down the lane
pause at the elm tree, admire curving branches, tiny green buds

I get to
pause at the rock wall, wonder how long till the orange roses start to come in
the iris
the lilac

I get to
cross the street
wind my way along the path
stroll across the bridge
with easy confidence, roam
without fear
of being shot down
left to lie and die there,
a crumbled mass of denim, pink nylon, down,
flesh and bone
pooling in blood
with three other bodies — two
children
and a family friend

I get to return home
I get to write these words
I get to breathe
I get to live

I get to make myself another cup of tea

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